January 19, 2022: Greyson Day

One year ago today was the beginning of hell. 

I remember coming home from work to find Greyson  with his skin discolored and every little vein visible. I remember calling 911, crying and begging to the operator to hurry because something wasn’t right. I remember the absolute fear when the ambulance pulled over to pick up another paramedic. That was the moment was I knew something was seriously working with my son. I remember when they were putting my baby on the stretcher at Riley Hospital and he begged me to hold him and that he loved me. I remember. I will always remember. Those were the last words my Greyson said to me. 

I remember going into the room at Riley and seeing Greyson hooked up to wires on ECMO (life support).The site brought me literally to my knees as I cried and became sick. Greyson’s stomach was completely open with minimal coverage so the doctors could clean out the infection daily.

Then the doctor sat down to tell me that during surgery, Greyson’s heart had stopped for 26 minutes. His body was full of infection and the next 24 hours were crucial. I remember signing a DNR, knowing that his poor little body was tired and I couldn’t put him through another round of CPR. I remember thinking that I love my son and want him, but putting him through that would be selfish. I love him too much to do that. I remember deciding that I would leave it up to Greyson and to God. 

I remember the doctors told me to contact my family to come tell Greyson good-bye. His heart rate and oxygen kept fluctuating. I remember everyone coming into the room and absolutely crying. I remember baptizing my son. I remember thinking to myself, ” Am I really about to plan a funeral for my two-year old son?” 

I remember. I will never forget. 

Because hell day was also hope day. Greyson has shown us the meaning of hope with every breathe he takes, with every step in his progress. I want nothing more than the old Greyson back. I want him up and running around. I want SO BADLY to hear him say that he love me. I miss that Greyson, but I am so thankful to the good man above that He kept Greyson here with us. Because this Greyson, my Greyson, has climbed mountains. He has survived and done more than I was told he would ever be able to do. He came home. And more importantly, my Greyson showed the world he is a warrior, because he is alive and everyday is a new chance for healing for him. 

I remember the journey, from hell day to now, and I know that journey goes on. A journey through hell to learn the meaning of hope. And it’s a hope we mean to share, which is why today will forever be GREYSON DAY. Not because of where he has been or what happened to him, but because today is the beginning of hope and the beginning of a new dream to see this kind of pain and evil taken from the world.